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  • home
  • writing
    • poetry
    • prose
    • academic
  • art
    • collages
  • radio
  • More
    • home
    • writing
      • poetry
      • prose
      • academic
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    • radio

poetry

Cytotoxicity

how is it that something can keep me alive
        by killing me in smaller increments?

how is being fucked up by this medication
        the one choice I have for the rest of my life?

I know that it's better to live and deal with it
than to let my body tear itself apart

but how can I start to reconcile
        the body I know,
                    the body that's mine,
                                the body I have,
                                            and the body I want?

for that matter
        how am I supposed to love a body
                    that’s waging a war on itself?
        how can I learn to love a body
                    that won’t ever take care of me?

I think my body belongs to itself
to side effects and to lifelong disease

it's keeping me alive
despite its best efforts

how is that?

originally published in Volume 9 of  Collective Reflections

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